I'm a failure.

I am a failure to the blogging community. Its not my fault. Its not like the bloggers of the world welcomed me with open arms. I received cold shoulders. What kind of inspiration is that supposed to drum up? I didn't come from the school of hard knocks where someone kicks you down and you get back up to spit in their face. I'm more the 'cry into the puddle you were kicked into' kind of guy. Is it too hard to ask for some feedback every now and again? Jeez. The silence from my avid readers is deafening. I could take that as a sign that I have no avid readers but I'm turning over a new leaf. Consider this the saliva rocket in your eye community of self important bloggers. My ideas are big and my life is important. You WILL read. Oh, you'll read because I'll force you to read. If I have to sneak into your apartment and make my blog your homepage, then by golly, that's exactly what I'll do. And you'll leave comments or I'll eat your last string cheese. What's that? You don't have string cheese? Then I'll find in your fridge what you only have one of and I'll eat it hoping that you'll notice and think to yourself "That blog guy at the last of (insert singular food here). I should go see if he blogged about it." And then when you click your internet explorer icon and you see that I haven't blogged about you and your food, you'll realize that your chance at fame vicariously through me was thwarted by my need for comments. You'll leave your little comment about your meaningless food and I'll have won. And victory will taste sweet.



You have been warned.