Inspiration

I have been following a few creativity and innovation blogs. They often write about running into writers block. I imagine in these instances the writers have these wonderfully fabulous ideas and after writing they run into a wall, unsure of where to go. I have the opposite problem. I have the inspiration to create something, to write or paint or play music. I just get into the "deer in headlights" head space. For me there is nothing more intimidating than a blank page. I want to have a plan but often I get so bogged down in editing myself even before I begin writing anything. Then through that process I let the inspiration pass and then I don't create anything. Or I blog about not being able to write.

The beginning

I never got to do yesterday’s ten minutes but I wanted to make sure I got back on the horse as soon as possible.

It’s been a while since I have written consistantly in this blog and in the time that I have been writing in it I have never mentioned my girlfriend. I think there are many reasons. I didn’t want to come off as overly sappy or turn this into a “me and my girlfriend” live journal type of space. I also think I wanted to blog about stuff, like politics or education. But I always come back to myself and my own reflections. So here is our story.

Once upon a time there was a theatre teacher (that’s me). And this teacher taught at a school, as they often do. And this school allowed for student teachers to come in their last year of undergrad to get some real in the classroom time. One such student teacher was named Erin.

Erin wanted to teach English. She was placed with a friend of mine named Emily. Emily taught eighth grade language arts. Emily was one of our social organizers on the campus. She had gotten a group of teachers to meet once a week for some pub trivia at a local wing joint in South Austin. One night at these competitions Emily said, “I’m going to hook you two up.” I laughed and didn’t think of it much after that. I had been single for a long while and while I wasn’t really trying hard to find a girlfriend, the idea was appealing. Erin was extremely beautiful and, even though it was difficult to show it (being so self conscious), she was great fun to be around.

I started eating lunch with Emily and Erin almost everyday. Erin started to join us at trivia. Through this interaction I eventually felt comfortable enough to ask her out. But it wasn’t that simple, was it? I might feel that kind of connection, but does she? I had no clue what she thought of me. I knew that if I didn’t ask her that I would lose my chance, either because her time on our campus would run out or some other guy would ask her first. So decided it was now or never.

We met for trivia that Wednesday night. I don’t think we won but even if we had I don’t think that would have stuck out in my memory. I remember, we settled our checks and everyone got up to leave. Erin got up to go to the restroom. I hung back by the table waiting for Erin to come back. Emily and Matt stopped, wondering why I was waiting alone. I practically shoved them out the door explaining that I was going to ask her out. After Emily and Matt left I went back to the table. Erin came back and there was some small talk as we walked out. I don’t remember if she asked me or if I asked her, but somehow we decided that she was going to give me a ride to my car...which was in the same lot. So we got in and buckled up. Nerves set in. We pulled up to my car and I blurted out the words, “We should grab dinner sometime.” She claims this completely took her by surprise, but she did agree.

I asked for her number. She gave it to me and being clever I called her to make sure it was her number. Her phone didn’t ring! We laughed about it as I got her voicemail. I then got out of the car. As she drove away I did a celebratory fist pump (ala Tiger Woods), only to find that Emily and Matt had stayed behind to find out the results of my endeavor. Emily suggested we go out to Mug Shots to celebrate. She called Erin to invite her out as well. Fun was had by all.

That was the beginning.

Demand better food!

Writing and stuff

So I’ve decided I will devote ten minutes a day to nothing but writing. I have been reading alot lately about writing, as a craft and a hobby. They all say the same stupid things. “Don’t let yourself get distracted,” “Never stop writing.” “Live passionately”

While I agree with most of these sentiments it is far harder to do them than to type them. So here is my attempt.

In the vein of writing I have never really done much. I have done a great job ignoring my blog. I have started four plays in the last 6 months and I occasionally open up the files to see if anything else has kick-started in my head (which is usually useless). I enjoy writing. It just seems as though I am always able to find something else to take it’s place.

The ironic thing is that reading all of this advice about writing is inspiring and gives a certain sense of fulfillment. But it is false. I have also been reading about productivity. Has this made me any more productive? No. But I have certainly learned many different techniques that will supposedly make me more productive. I have even put a couple into practice. But changing habits is hard.

My desk is still cluttered with text books, papers, play scripts, props, video cameras, video camera chargers. I want a clean desk with nothing on it. I wish I could use my personal computer on the districts website(not that it would make me any more productive).

I want to lead a minimalist life. I want my life to be uncluttered by things. This is hard for me because I also want things! Earlier this week my car was broken into (not technically because they didn’t break anything, I just left my car unlocked in front of my house), they took a couple of watches out of my car and my gum. The watches were my grandfathers. One was a ten year service watch from Roadway and the other was a Bulova pocket watch. I’m not sure how much they were worth (and to be honest I don’t really care). I did have the intention to get them restored and maybe wear them. But now that they are gone I feel the slight pang that they are gone. Maybe it was the best thing for me. I have too much stuff. Mostly excessively sentimental stuff.

Something that caught my eye.

I am in Gulfport, Mississippi. I came here to visit my grandparents. My grandfather went into the hospital a couple of weeks ago. It was looking pretty grim but he's doing much better and is not the topic of this blog post.

In 2005 Hurricane Katrina left an indelible mark on the Gulf Coast. We can all remember the images from New Orleans. The flooded streets, the sleeping bag city in the Super Dome, the post storm looting. Gulfport was also severely damaged by Katrina.

This area, which includes Biloxi and Long Beach, has the wonderful culture of riverboat casinos. The river boat casino was a compromise between the pro gambling lobbyist and the anti gambling lobbyist. In the past the boats had to actually be able to leave the coast. Now however the buildings are just built off of the beach. My family used to go to a casino called "The Grand." The Grand was built on a pier off of the beach in Biloxi. High way 90 runs along the beach, literally a stones throw away from from the surf. Katrina plucked the Grand from its cement moorings and relocated it 100 feet north of 90. This hotel/casino was at least 20 stories tall!

In the end we know what happened as far as our governments support. I'm not here to indict anybody for their failed reactions. We know that this area of the country needed help.

While I was at the hospital I saw an honorary message for a donor, who had donated funds to help rebuild and restore Memorial Hospital in Gulfport. When I think of international aid. I think of it being exported.

"In grateful recognition of the People of Qatar who gave generously to Memorial Hospital after Hurricane Katrina."

The People of Qatar!? Isn't that in the middle east?

Yes, as a matter of fact it is. This tiny country has a population of roughly 1.5 million. They donated millions to the restoration of the hospital. Millions? Millions.

I suppose I'm doing nothing more here than to show how American I am. Sadly I had never thought about the United States receiving help from abroad. It helped me to gain a little more of a sense of the community of the world. Even the big guy needs help sometimes.

I'll post a picture of the message when I figure out how to make it work.

Lost In My Classroom!!!

Actually I haven't gotten lost in there yet...

Apparently they have a summer camp on my campus and they used my room for the counselors, which is fine except that it means that they weren't able to wax the floors until this week. I wish I had brought my camera to the school with me. All of the furniture from my classroom is on the stage, everything! Good news though, they are buying me new drapes for the stage! I picked out the colors and the fabric types, the purchase order is in, I just need to tell the vendor what I want. The drapes that are there now are 25 years old and haven't been cleaned in about ten. Some of the border drapes are beginning to fall apart, so this will be nice.

This is supposed to be my "Beginning of the School year" entry. Going into my third year of teaching I am faced with a very similar situation to the past two... What the heck am I going to teach? I have to teach these state standards, but to tell you the truth they are pretty vague as far as activities go. I joke often with my elective group that I cover almost all of those standards in any given lesson. "Demonstrate safe use of voice and body." No one got hurt today, CHECK!

So as I near the edge of the cliff that drops into free fall on day one, I decided to write some thoughts out to jump start the planning of my semester. I will have four preps again this year: 6th Grade Theatre, Theatre I, Advanced Theatre, and WRTV (Video Technology). For this exercise I will stick with my theatre preps.

What do you want my students to learn?
In all of my classes I want my students to continue to grow in those skills that they are already using in all of their other classes, effective reading and writing, critical thinking, creativity, etc. Part of the reason I love teaching theatre is because the class is like a laboratory for experimenting with these skills and providing context. In my 6th grade class, I want the students to begin the transition from creative drama and play into more formal theatre techniques and practices. I want to place a little more structure on the improv and play, maybe introduce scripts gradually with some readers theater and maybe end with a ten minute play script. For my theatre I students, I want them to dive into the formal theatre. Working with scenes and play analysis, they will be acting and on their feet. This class is really a preparation for the advanced class. I want to get them thinking about the technical aspects as well asking questions like, "What costumes do you see," "What does the set look like," etc. In a perfect world scenario I would be able to have them make model sets either out of paper building materials or legos or something. I also envision them making sets out of large cardboard pieces. If only I had the budget for lumber (let alone a storage space). And lastly there is my advanced class. I want to immerse this group into the production of a play. We will read four, maybe five scripts, choose one and go through the process of putting show up, designing and building sets, putting together costume pieces, rehearsing with actors, lighting, a crew.

So I guess those are my learning goals. Now I just need to drop that into a 17-18 week schedule. I am excited and ready to go back, just as soon as my floors are done and my room is in order.

Health Care Reform

The news (CNN, Fox, NYT, etc.) has been overwrought with health care reform coverage. We've heard from the Democrats, the Republicans, the pundits, the Blue Dog Democrats, and everyone else who is willing to speak on it. And once you've finished reading this you will have heard from me.

I have been told by a few people who have known me for a good long while that they were surprised to find that when I moved to Texas my political nature blushed a little. In the waning years of high school I was a fairly liberal individual. One thing that hasn't changed is my support for health care for everyone, even to the point of socialized medicine.

I believe that in a perfect world where everyone is working for the good of society that everyone should obtain the benefits of the total work done. Inherent in that statement, everyone gets healthcare. Some people would say "What about those who don't work? Do they still get health care?" Yes.

Now I'm not blind to the problems of socialized medicine. The first being the cost. According to the Congressional Budget Office Director's Blog:

According to CBO’s and JCT’s assessment, enacting H.R. 3200 would result in a net increase in the federal budget deficit of $239 billion over the 2010-2019 period. That estimate reflects a projected 10-year cost of the bill’s insurance coverage provisions of $1,042 billion, partly offset by net spending changes that CBO estimates would save $219 billion over the same period, and by revenue provisions that JCT estimates would increase federal revenues by about $583 billion over those 10 years.

July 18, 2009

Granted, since this was posted, both the proposals in the house have been revised and even as this entry is typed the committees are debating and line iteming this bill. So, the hard question - "Who pays for this?" My easy answer is, we all do. If you think about it, insurance premiums are where they are because of a number of factors, the uninsured, our litigious society, "defensive medicine" (as a result of our litigious society), our lack of preventative measures like eating right, exercising, quitting smoking, moderation with alcohol, etc. So all in all we are already footing the bill for those who aren't covered, so why not admit it and acknowledge it outright.

The second big question, "Who is in control?" The answer that is being debated is the government option. Put the government in charge of medicine. One side says, "Why not? Then we can control costs." The other side says, "Look at what control we've already given them. They've screwed up Social Security, Medicare, education, Veteran Health care..." I think both sides have points here. Privatized health care has run rampant over patient rights. But the government could do the same thing. While no one wants to admit cost vs. value in a healthcare situation is life and death. Is the government really going to give society a blank check when it comes to healthcare options? Who is going to make sure that the government run healthcare is doing good by us? Another government oversight agency? The conservative base will just lose it if that happens.

I thought it sad that in the documentary Fahrenheit 911, regardless of what you think of Michael Moore, a United States citizen couldn't get treatment here but could take a boat to Cuba, and receive medical services without charge.

Why wouldn't a citizen who can afford it want to help a fellow man? If I knew that my contributions to an insurance plan would help someone who needed it, especially since I don't need it now being a strapping healthy young individual, I would absolutely pay into something like that.

Many of my friends say that I give too much benefit of doubt, that I am too trusting, and maybe I am. But I think a refusal to do so is just a fear that the person you might help wouldn't do the same for you in a reversed situation. How many people don't eat, get a doctors care, get a hug because of that lack of trust. Forgive me for thinking that people as a whole are good natured and willing to do the right thing.

Do I think that a government run healthcare system that allows everyone, and I do mean everyone, healthcare without question? No, at least it isn't the only option. But something needs to change and needs to change fast.

Teachers! Here you go!

Harvard Professor Arrested...For Being Black?

On July 16, 2009, a 911 call reported a potential break in to Cambridge dispatch. An officer reported to scene. Henry Louis Gates Jr., a Harvard Scholar, was arrested for disorderly conduct. Since then the media has reported about the racial aspect of the case. What made this situation racial? A white man was the arresting officer.

I am not going to pretend that this country has moved on from is racist roots. I won't. I'm from western Pennsylvania and went to college in central Pennsylvania. Ever big wheel truck there has a confederate flag license plate, and not because they like General Lee. Racism is certainly alive and well in America. But can we cry racism here? I won't come to any hard conclusions because I wasn't there. But I do want to propose giving our peace officers the benefit of the doubt.

If my neighbors saw me banging on my door they might call the cops. My neighbors don't know me. Now if a cop shows up to investigate a potential break in, I am going to be on my best behavior. I have been taught to absolutely respect the authority of the police. If I begin yelling at the officer or accusing him of things, I show myself as a potential threat and can then be detained. I can also be detained if I am getting in the way of the officer completing his duty. The difference between this hypothetical situation and the one that occurred on the 16th is that I am a caucasian male and Professor Gates is an African American. There is something referred to in race studies as white privilege. This states that I will be given more benefit of doubt than an african american would, all things being equal aside from race. I would love to believe that this is just theory but if you look close enough at our society you will see it. This is another blog entry all to its own.

There are two versions of the story. Gates' version and the arresting Officer Crowley's version. And my mother in her infinite wisdom told me, "in divorce there are always two sides, and neither is the complete truth. You'll find elements of truth in both, but neither will be all the way." I have no doubt that it is true in this situation as well.

"The police and Professor Gates offered differing accounts of what happened after officers arrived. Professor Gates said that he had shown photo identification to Sergeant Crowley but that the sergeant had appeared not to believe that he lived there. Frustrated, Professor Gates said, he asked for the name and badge number of Sergeant Crowley, who, he said, refused to give them.

By the police account, Professor Gates initially refused to show identification, and Sergeant Crowley did provide his name. When told that Sergeant Crowley was investigating the possibility of a break-in, the police said, Professor Gates yelled, “Why, because I’m a black man in America?” and accused the sergeant of racism. Professor Gates followed the officer from the inside of the house onto the porch, yelling at him, the police report said."
---Harvard Scholar Won’t Be Charged By KATIE ZEZIMA and ABBY GOODNOUGH NYTIMES

The situation ended with the professor being arrested and initially charged with disorderly conduct. The charges have since been dropped. But the situation has been blown up and has reignited the racial discussion. Even the President has weighed in on the situation.

"I don't know, not having been there and not seeing all the facts, what role race played," Obama said Wednesday night while taking questions after a White House news conference. "But I think it's fair to say, No. 1, any of us would be pretty angry; No. 2, that the Cambridge police acted stupidly in arresting somebody when there was already proof that they were in their own home; and, No. 3 ... that there's a long history in this country of African-Americans and Latinos being stopped by law enforcement disproportionately."

I applaud Obama for not making a judgement call and admitting that he did not know "not having been there and not seeing all of the facts." This shows good temperament. And he's right. I would've been angry in that situation. But his number two bothers me. To come out and accused the police of "act[ing] stupidly" immediately after admitting that he "did not know" seems contradictory and political. The charge he was arrested for was disorderly conduct after the proof was presented. He wasn't arrested for being in his own home.

All things considered, breaking into your own home isn't illegal. But a responding officer has an obligation to get the entire story, thus must be allowed to do a thorough investigation. If someone breaks into my house and when the responding officer shows up, the burglar says he is my house sitter and the officer leaves allowing him to steal my computers and music equipment, I would be far more pissed off than if he had put me in cuffs and sat me down out of his way to complete his investigation.

If we begin to second guess our police forces, as we have for a while now, we take their authority away. Many of us don't like the police. They get in our way when we are late by pulling us over for speeding in a school zone. They arrest us when we act stupid downtown after drinking a little too much. We jokingly, or not so jokingly, call them pigs. But why do we have police forces in the first place? They are there to protect and serve. The police officer who responded to the call was doing his job. If we assume that the arrest was racially motivated then we have to suspect everything the police do. If we can't assume that our police will uphold the law then why do we have them? Have their been cops that have abused their authority? Yes. Are there cops who are still cops that abuse their power? Yes. Is every police officer subject to suspicion? No. By giving them the badge we trust them to always tell the truth and to uphold the honor of that badge. They have earned our trust by completing the academy and completing their training. When we take it away, we give strength to the criminals they are trying to protect us against.

In conclusion, I have no idea what went on a week ago in the living room of Gates' house. I hope the officer was doing his job, for his sake and society's. We need to remember that with the badge comes our trust, without it the police are useless.

History is dying

I have these big huge discoveries every once in a while. These discoveries are nothing that anyone wouldn't know automatically but when something brings these thoughts to the forefront of my mind it is blown.

Really, the idea that the people who were born a while ago will die before me is not a new idea. This article from CNN is what started this whole mind blowing line of thinking.
World's oldest man, WWI vet, dies aged 113

"Henry Allingham, the world's oldest man and the oldest surviving British veteran from World War I, has died at the age of 113, his care home said Saturday." In the TV segment devoted to this story, the reporter said that he was one of two still living World War I vets in the UK. These guys are a endangered historical resource. I began pulling history forward and seeing the future. Someday the world will be without any World War II vets and Holocaust survivors. In our lifetime we will see Vietnam Vets go the same way. And in the waning years of my hopefully long life I will see veterans of the first Gulf War fade into the print of history books.

I suppose I realized this a while ago. Every summer we visit my Grandparents in Mississippi. On my mother's side, my grandfather was in Vietnam disarming explosive ordinance. I was about seventeen when I realized that someday he would pass silently into memory and he would no longer be able to tell his story. So that summer I had intentions of buying a tape recorder and asking him all about his experiences. While I didn't get the tape recorder, I did question him extensively about his experience and insight into the Vietnam War. While he was traumatically sent home after receiving a Purple Heart, he spoke jovially about what went on over there.

I realize now that I am slowly but surely moving back to the topic of Legacy. History and Legacy can almost be synonyms. Well, maybe not but they can certainly go hand in hand.

That same day it was reported that the community of journalism had lost a great one of its own. Walter Cronkite, died on July 17, 2009 at the age of 92. It has been said that video and other media will replace text. If the same true in education, then Walter Cronkite will certainly be the author of the history "text books" used in the coming years for history from World War II until the early eighties.

History is fading into the past...and there's nothing you can do about it.

Bedroom Update

For the Record....

I moved in...

Well I started to anyway. I am far from calling myself moved in, but during the first week of June I began to move my things from my overpriced one bedroom apartment into a house that is reasonable. This is where I've gotten since June 3rd.






I have to be honest. It's been a little more organized than that and usually only turns into this mess when I decide to do some moving in.

The problem is my bookshelves. I have a small set of book shelves. I am struggling with filling them. You see most of my stuff is books. As I began to put books into the shelves I realized I was putting all of my dad's books into the shelves. He was a Tom Clancy and Robert A. Heinlein fan. I have all of his old books. I probably have 75% of Clancy's offerings and about half of them are 1st prints. Some of the Heinlein books are first prints as well. My struggle is this, I want my shelves to reflect my literary tastes but I don't want to off load these books. First of all, I don't want to get rid of anything that used to be my father's. I have some serious pack rat habits when it comes to things that were his. It took me two years to go through half of his files. It'll probably take me another two the get through the rest. On top of the sentimental value, there of practical value. About two thirds of these books are first editions which makes them collectors items. But I am not a book collector, nor do I have the room to become one. I would love to keep them but I hate keeping books in boxes.

Here then is my question: Do I keep the books, in boxes or otherwise? If I get rid of them, how do I find their true monetary value so as not to get ripped off?

Ultimately, the goal is to have a room I can live in, but these quandaries always make me stop and stress me out.

Onwards and Upwards.

Writing

I always have these ideas for plays or stories. But I never write them. Why? Because I always feel unprepared. I remember when I was twelve I started writing a novel that took place in New York City. I got my first taste of unpreparedness. I had not been to New York at that point. I was undoubted writing a stereo type of Gotham City based on what I had seen on television. Now I look back and think that I could have made the city any city or a ficticious city. I was confounded by my lack of knowledge about the geography of the city. I asked my dad to buy me a map of manhattan. He asked me why. I didn't want to tell him that I was writing a novel so I said "I don't know," and dropped it. I ultimately dropped the novel too. I wonder how many words I have tabled and forgotten because of that unpreparedness. Its ironic because when my student write I tell them that its important "just to write." Sift through ninety nine pounds of coal for a half karat diamond. I can't bring myself to practice what I teach.

Chris asked me during my sophmore year in college, "Do you enjoy writing?" And I responded with a resounding yes. But as I've already admitted previously, there are times where I think I just like the image of the writer. I enjoy writing here when I have a topic to write about. I don't want to feel like my writing is contrived. I can write about my ideas or the things going on in my life because I am the expert on my life and ideas. But when it comes to writing real, flesh and blood characters going through a traumatic experience or finding the funny in life I feel ill equipped.

The Importance of Words.

One of the things I would like to impress upon my students is the importance of words. Words are important, right? Communication is nearly impossible without words.

One of the things I always get on my kids about are the misuse of two words: Gay and Retarded. I hate these words when used in the context of "This play is gay." Or "This is retarded, why do I have to read?" Not only is it impossibly annoying when kids ask questions like "Why do I have to read?" But they don't seem to realize what they mean when they say these two words in this context. I try to explain it in terms they might understand.

"When someone does something silly or stupid, how would you guys feel if I said 'Man, that was really Mexican.'" And of course this sets off the whole class, 97% of whom are hispanic. "Well you do the same thing to those people who are homosexual or have mental handicaps." It doesn't change anything. They still say the words and no matter how many times I sit for lunch detention it doesn't seem to stop.

The kids ask me why they can't swear. "They're just words Mr. Snyder." They are right. They are just words. But words have power. Who ever said "Sticks and stones..." was full of it. Words have meaning. Granted, we give them their meaning but isn't that the purpose of words?

Language has been around for many millennium. Created for the soul purpose of organized communication.

Hominid 1: Grunt grunt grunt.
(Hominid 1 points at a tree and makes an eating motion)
Hominid 2: Tree!
Hominid 1: Tree?
Hominid 2: Tree!
Hominid 1: Tree!
(The hominids dance together in celebration)

As humans language can be used in many different ways. We tell stories of the past, our hopes for the future, we can use language to make up either, we can explain, so on and so forth. My anthro professor in college once told me that the English language has a finite number of words, but almost every sentence spoken in the world is a distinct creation unique to the speaker. Think about that! These characters on this webpage placed in this configuration of words and sentence that follow the rules of grammar are a completely unique creation. No one in the history of the world has ever written this exact entry, or spoken these words. That is astounding to me.

---Edit: The stuff above was written on April 13th. The stuff below was written on the day of the posting.

So the whole reason for this entry was...you guessed it...A TED video.



So I watch Lakshmi's talk about words, letter writing, and legacy. First, I thought of my father's journals. Shortly before my father's death, I found a journal that he had written in on a regular basis from February 24, 1987 until December 2, 1987 (my birthday was the topic of that particular entry). It is important to note that I moved to San Marcos in late August of '06 and the last time I heard my dad attempt to speak was September 26. So by the time I had found this journal my dad's major form of communication was written word. The day after my father died we found three other spiral notebooks, all labeled as volumes and with titles.

Volume I - Alias (November 1979 - December 1980)
Volume II - Flora Kydd (December 1980 - February 1982)
Volume III - External Combustion (Febrary 1983 - Febrary 1987)
Volume IV - Dealing With Stress (February 1987 - January 14, 2007)

The titles I'm assuming were band names or album names of his own creation. You can't imagine how enlightening it was to read about my dad's life after it was over. Providence had given me something of my father's legacy. My dad wasn't really a prolific journalist and some of his entries are marred with "I feel bad for whomever finds this and reads this long after I'm gone..." Which mad me laugh because my own journals say the same thing. But even now as I pull them out just for the purposes of writing this, I am keenly aware of the fact that my fathers hands touched these paper books. That the blood coursing through his veins and the muscles in his arm and hands guided a pen and the evidence of those moments are still here.

Legacies are left in words. I had the good fortune to know someone who thought it imperative that I see the movie Big Fish, which I hadn't previously seen. I am immensely thankful that I had not gone to see the movie when it initially came out in 2003. I was able to wholly enjoy the movie so much more after having dealt with my fathers own death. The whole movie is about a legacy left in oral histories. My father's legacy is left in journals and the stories those of us who knew him tell.

No matter who you are, when you die you are at the behest of the words written or spoken about you. Hopefully you don't leave your legacy to those who are left after you die. Start making your legacy now. You don't have to keep a journal or write anything. Just live. Be good to those around you. And hope that those that didn't like you die off before you do, just kidding.

I often wonder what kind of legacy I will leave.

Hmmmmm...

Today has been an interesting day.

In all honesty, today probably hasn't been any more interesting than any other day, it is just that I have pulled into my head and marinated in my thoughts.

I am a random net user. I start with a word, let's say "velcro." Then I go where every good web adventure begins, Google.

My Google Search

Of course the Wikipedia page is the first entry in my search queue.

As I read through the history, invention, and application on Velcro, I undoubted get to the bottom of the Wiki page and find the suggested links.

"Biomimicry" What the heck is that? And so on and so forth.

This leads me on an Alice and Wonderland type journey and ends somewhere, probably bed time, with no real resolution or conclusion.

Let me back up a little bit...

I suppose today's jump into my head started last night. I was reading through my friends blog and came across a blog that she reads. Just reading the entries there made me think about what it is that teachers do and what that means. I ultimately came to no conclusions but it pulled me behind my eyes.

So today three out of six of my classes were held in a computer lab. In between monitoring my students, taking roll, and other responsibilities, I started to look for stuff. During class I found nothing of note, but at lunch I found something. I found this:



If you don't have the twenty minutes to watch this video, then no big deal. But listening to this talk made me, the already introspecting "what does it all mean" person, think about my own life. Do I move to fast? Am I moving to fast? Could I use a slow down? How does this apply to my teaching? Has this year been frustrating because I am rushing through material (I should note that this year has only been mildly frustrating compared to last year)? Where else could my life use a slow down? Slowing down is relaxing. Whether I really need it or not, I am going to slow down and watch the world as it slowly passes by. Right now as I write this I am watching the orange stripe of sunlight be consumed by the blue of night. I gotta say I like it. Although I don't know that this multi tasking counts as a slow down but I digress.

I want to write more but I will save it for tomorrow.

The Importance of Words - Tomorrow.

Continued distraction

Instead of working on what I'm supposed to be working on, I decided to do some more laundry and see what is going on on my friends blogs. I am not surprised but kinda sad to say that no one from college is still posting in their usual college-era blogs. How am I supposed to keep track of you if you don't blog?!?

I'm not going to mention that this is two in a row...

So I looked up the thesis outline I am supposed to follow and I feel a little better about what I need to do. What the hell is an abstract? Why would you put a summary in the front of your paper? Doesn't that short change the whole purpose? The reader could just as easily read the abstract and my references and get the same idea. Anyone out there write a thesis paper ever? Am I supposed to break it up into chapters? Grrr... Now I am a little frustrated again.

I keep doing things so I don't actually have to focus on what I should focus on. For instance, right now I want to go running. Which is a good thing except that I just want to go running to get thesis out of my head. I'm not going running. I'm going to write three pages today.

Gotta have goals.

Constant Distraction

I have to keep myself in a position of constant distraction, which is awesome because no one can distract me better than myself. So here I am writing here when I should be writing my thesis. The problem is that I don't know how to write a thesis. Well, I know how to write a thesis, I mean I get the mechanics of it and what its supposed to look like in the end. I just don't know a good way to manage my research. You see, the more I read about thesis writing I've found I've done it all backwards. I have piles and piles of valid, wonderful, research but nothing for that research to comment on yet. So now I need to just write as much as I possibly can about "Online Collaborative Professional Development for Teachers" and hope that something clicks. But, I sit writing here.

That reminds me...

I wish I had some writing habits. As witnessed here I am no good at keeping a schedule for writing. I do a fair amount of writing everyday but not on one thing, more like on everything, paper, hall passes, notes, emails, walls, occaisonally here, in my private diary.

Brandon sits at his desk writing furiously in a notebook

BRANDON (VO): Dear diary, a lot has happened since I last wrote in you. I hope no one finds you and reads you and then all of my secrets would get out. Anyway, Jaime told Mikey...

What does it take to establish GOOD writing habits? I have always fancied myself a writer but to be honest I think I just liked the image that other writers had and wanted some of that. I enjoy writing though, it never winds up a priority.

I read a book that says that there is almost no such thing as genius. Behind every piano or violin virtuoso is 20,000 or so hours of practice. Now, knowing that how do I get myself to sit down and write for 20,000 hours? Does that even translate to writing?

What the crap?

I, really, like, commas...

Thesising...

Musical Opening

Tomorrow my musical opens. This makes me nervous, excited, and truly proud. My kids are rocking this musical which is fitting since it is a rock musical, at least by name.

This year followed the same pattern as last year. I freaked out two weeks before the show. Now I think they're ready. They're ready. Kids always have a way of surprising you. Always.

Here we go!

I'm gonna rant.

I will apologize now and then again at the end. I'm sorry.

I just listened to a reporter on NPR talk about our broken health care system and that got me thinking.

Why is our health care system broken?

If you want to help fix our health care system, don't complain about the high premiums, live a healthy life style. Quit smoking. Eat your damn vegetables. Go out side and play! When your doctor messes up and you get stuck in the hospital an extra two days, don't sue him for millions of dollars, just DON'T pay! Those are the reasons our premiums are so high.

This got me thinking about another gripe that has hit the news these days, our failing education system...

Is education failing the students or are the students failing at the education? It's more than likely an even split of both. But as a teacher I am doing my damnedest to get the kids to learn what they are supposed to learn. But its an uphill battle. The kids have to meet the teacher halfway. You can lead a horse to water but pushing it in won't make it drink. Look up the 8th grade graduation test, never mind I did it for you, can you pass it? Can a senior in high school? Can all seniors? What about 8th graders? Some people argue that we've dumbed down education to support student success. Others argue that our students have begun to lose their way. I don't care who you blame, you wanna fix the problem? If you are a student, shut up, sit down, do your damn homework. If you are a teacher, never stop learning and getting better at your job, be willing to take criticism from your peers and your students, and if you don't care then QUIT!

I have more words I want to say but I'm afraid they will be mis-recieved and offensive. The point is there is no government plan that will fix education. It's between the students and the teachers. We have to allow our kids to fail otherwise they think success is a given. Bad teachers need to go work in telemarketing, just a fact, but good teachers shouldn't have to put up with the bashing that the "education system" is getting. Test scores are a crock, especially in a society where the whole known world is a google away. Do they need to know basic skills? Yes. Can a standardized test really tell you if a student has the knowledge and critical thinking skills needed in the real world? No. Find a better way. If you want my input then ask, otherwise its all on you.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." Ghandi said that and I believe it. I'm trying to be a successful teacher with a six figure salary, but its harder than it sounds.

Again I apologize for the rant. Also I apologize for falling off of the earth for a while. I firmly resolve to write for thirty days straight, again. Thank you anonymous for keeping me honest. We need more good un named people like yourself. Good day.

Fluff.

Not much of an entry....












But its funny.

Tired...

Man I am wiped. I finally got my CS4 master collection in the mail. I've already edited some audio for 40 days. It's alright. I just need to figure out how to work it.

I requested a leave of absence from my masters program. Hopefully I get my month off so I can write my thesis. I'm not sure what I'll do if they say no. I may just be out of luck, which would suck. Could they deny me a leave of absence? It says in my student contract that we are eligible for one month per twelve. I'm in a twelve month program. Sounds about right to me.

I know this kinda sucks but I'm going to bed. At least I got my entry in right.

Here we go benchmarks!!!! (((thumbs down)))

A post a day...

So here it comes. I am going to post once a day. I don't promise any sort of length. BUt I do promise a post. Maybe sometimes it'll be a picture. Maybe a video. But I will contribute to this every day for one month. Gotta have goals.


Before Headshaving...


One month after headshaving...

New Years Resolutions

I usually don't do New Year's Resolutions. When I resolve to do something, I usually don't. When I was trying to quit smoking if I said, "I am going to quit smoking." I didn't. When I just didn't smoke it was easier to quit. I don't think that quite explains what I mean but thats how it is in my head.

This year, however, I've decided to make a couple of resolutions. Here they are in no specific order.

1. I will answer my phone when it rings and I am not in a situation where answering the phone would be rude.
-Addendum: I will call back when ever I am free.
- Exception: 1-800 #'s and Private numbers.

Historically, I am known as the guy who doesn't answer the phone. I hope you haven't taken offense. My mother is surprised when I answer the phone. Nuff said.

2. I will run four times a week. My running schedule will be Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. I will come up with a mileage schedule soon. Running is good for me. I need things that are good for me. Oh, and I've decided to put my running stuff in its own blog. So, if you are interested in my running here's the new blog. http://runlikeyourbeingchased.blogspot.com/ (note the typo in the address, this was done on purpose because the non-typo address was already taken).

3. I will paint, write, and play more. I have filled my life with non artistic things. Art is good for me. I need to make that more of a priority. I know this one doesn't have a quantifier or a goal to keep but I will make the effort. And that is good enough for me.

4. I will run a sprint triathlon, three 5ks, a 10k and a half marathon in 2009. At least. Barring injury. You gotta have goals.

5. I will post in this at least once a week. So far so good.

That's what I got right now. I realize though that every day is a day to make resolutions and reserve the right to do so at anytime. Like I said in my last post its good to take stock, find room for improvement, and pat yourself on the back.

Why New Years?

I started asking myself the question, why do we celebrate New Years? Is it just another excuse to party? Is it really that important to celebrate an insignificant day that we have titled "The first day of the year?"

New Years is different from other holidays in that nothing significant took place to determine its day. But it is none-the-less important to celebrate New years. New years give pace to our passing of time. It give man a reason to stop and take stock of the passing of time. Was 2008 a good year? Why? What is going make 2009 different. It's like hitting the reset button. You could feasibly hit that button any time, but there is something awesome about the whole world hitting it together.

What happened in my life in 2008:

-I completed my first year of teaching. Looking back it doesn't seem so bad, but at the time there were certainly times where I thought about throwing in the towel.
-I began my second year of teaching. This year has provided its own challenges, but I do enjoy teaching. Ironic.
-2008 was the first year that has gone wholly by without me being in a serious committed relationship since 1996.
- I successfully quit smoking.
-I improved my credit score by 200 points.
-I started a Masters Degree.
-I learned how to two step.
-I made a couple new fantastic friends

I'm sure there are more points here than this but these are the things that stick out. 2009 will be better than 2008. Of that I am sure.